just writing

I like to just write something.
It could just help me to summarize what's in my mind.
Or, It could just help me to relieve my stress, which tease me in my mind.

I lost something. It's quite valuable for me. That has made me a big hole. Sometimes the hole made me feel a depression, which came from the ground of my lowest self-esteem.
Thanks to the depression, I cursed myself. I nailed my body on the fire. And then, I got any water which made my head cold.

It was my everything, because after I've started new thing on my life I could visualize my life with it. I just understood, behaved, walked, thought, pondered, ran with it. I thought it would be forever with me. Even If there was some problems on me, I thought It would be clear with the decision, determination of doing, keeping my belief. But it's not.

As you know, the life is not what you want. It does not work as you wish. It does work as it wish. You know the reason and the result. you just depended on ur own endurance. But The life said that it's not the answer. The life says to me that There may be other solutions to me since The life changes with ur mind.

What do u want in ur life now? As u know, u want something noble. u want something that is not comparable with anythings. You already know what it is. However, as ur mind is so poor, the mind does not have a ability to bear with that kind of noble thing.

I think You wanna go back to the state, which makes you always seek to get the truth. U always excuses urself with the execuise of ur being busy. But u know, It's not really busy. You just can't manage urself.

I already learned that dealing with the world requires u to dealing with ur body first. u know, the healthy mind resides on the healthy body. blah blah blah.....

okay, I catched what i want. U just wanna go up, the top of mountain, the top of life, the truth. So now, It's time for u to move with the belief that U always say, listen to, behave, feel good things.